When the Struggle is Real

There have been a lot of changes happening in my life over the past 6 months. I got married, got pregnant, became a stepmom, moved to a new country and essentially gave up my career in New York all in one month. So, you can imagine it has been a whirlwind.

The physical and emotional highs and lows that have come with this journey have been tougher than I imagined. For one, I have had morning sickness (which is actually a 24/7 affliction) from the beginning and it is showing no signs of stopping. Then you add in the fatigue and all sorts of physical changes and ailments (I won’t disturb you with) on top of that, working out has been one of the last things that I want to do most days.

All these major changes have triggered emotional and mental battles on top of the physical ones. There are many days where I feel super low and isolated. Sometimes I feel heavy from my mind to the tips of my toes. These are the days where the smallest things, like going for a walk, feels like a major accomplishment.

Being in the fitness industry sometimes I feel disconnected from my peers, who according to social media always jump out of bed psyched for the day and their next workout. I have not felt like that in months. I often wonder when I will feel like that again. But what I am learning from this moment is how important it is to reconnect with your true motivators and how important it is to have support.

I am super lucky because my partner is completely into health and fitness. He has helped me through the passed few months in ways he doesn’t even know, by encouraging me to stay active and eat healthy, but also not judging me on the days when my workouts are literally only 15 minutes spinning on the bike then 45 minutes of child pose (to quell the nausea). Find a friend or a partner who will support you by both their example and their words.

At the end of the day, regardless of our support systems, it’s up to us to make decisions that will support our own health and wellness. On the hard days, you have to know why you are getting out of bed and putting on your gyms shoes otherwise you won’t do it. As a fitness model in New York, there have been many years where my driving force was aesthetic goals. Right now, I want to have a healthy pregnancy, a healthy baby and I want to boost my mood and energy levels. These things get me moving over bikini body inspiration hands down these days, because they are connected to my values and deeper goals of who I want to be today and tomorrow.

Whether you are having a tough pregnancy, a tough year or just a rough week, and taking care of your health feels like a true struggle, know you are not alone. Think about the role fitness can play in your life now and in creating the life you want. What are your deeper goals that you can go to when the going gets tough. Write them down, post them on your mirror, tell your room mate, partner, best friend, accountability partner and keep striving to live a healthier life.